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What ever happened to the big 'Revitalize Downtown Lawndale' plan?

2
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They spent all the money on flags.

3
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Come on. We have to get to the post office before it closes.

4
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Ah, new wanted posters go up today?

5
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No use trying to keep good news secret in this town. Coming?

6
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Actually, I really need an eraser. A nice, big, cute one. You guys go on ahead

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and I'll catch up with you at the pizza place.

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Ladies! Gentlemen! And especially ladies! Ruttheimer the Prestidigitator begs

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your indulgence! May I show you something that will astound and amaze?

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Look, babe! Upchuck's doing magic! Like David Coppertone!

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A simple deck of cards. And nothing up my sleeve, unless you don't count my

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rippling musculature.

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Let's go, Kevvy, or Cashman's will be all out of that thingy your going to want

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to buy me.

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Now I'll need some help from the audience.

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Me! Me! Me!

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Hmm. Yes, you'll do nicely. Pick a card, any card. Look at it and return it to

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the deck.

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That was awesome!

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We're not done.

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It was still cool.

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Now, comely miss, if you will. Reach into my shirt pocket, with your teeth, and

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remove the card that you find there!

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Um, okay.

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Is this your card, sir?

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Um, I forgot.

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It did have a guy on it.

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Oh, right! Hey! You took my card man!

29
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Brr! It's like he read your mind. Do you think he can read my mind? 'Cause that

30
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stuff I was thinking about Teddy Wazniac doesn't mean I'd actually do that stuff

31
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with Teddy Wazni... eep!

32
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Wow. This place is so old, even the crayons have expired.

33
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It's really orbiting Planet Yesterday, huh? They don't make 'em like they used to.

34
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I love this stuff! Photo corners, cloth typewriter ribbons, sealing wax.

35
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Oh, look. Carbon paper.

36
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I'm Nathan.

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Jane.

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I really ought to give this a test scribble before I buy it.

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Maybe I could write down, say, a phone number?

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How about mine?

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And he wares cuff links, and drives one of those big old cars with fins.

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How great is that?

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Do you think it's a good idea to pick up a perfect stranger while under the

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influence of ink well fumes? Even if he has come here from prehistoric times.

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Hey, if I didn't have the nerve to pick up guys, you wouldn't have a boyfriend.

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Oh great. I'm not going to have to date this guy now, am I?

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Hey!

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What'd I say?

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I don't know, I hate the present too, but not enough to ware a zoot suit.

50
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He doesn't ware a zoot suit. He's a snappy dresser in the classical-elegant

51
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sense. Plus, he has impecable manners and a biting whit.

52
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Oh, so he's...

53
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And he loves girls!!

54
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Okay, he's got it all. Not like some guys.

55
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It's true. If I really cared, I'd dress like a dead man too.

56
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Thanks for the encourgement, you two. Maybe sometime you can teach me how to

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pass judgement on someone I've never met.

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She's going to be dissappointed.

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Yeah. That's not really the kind of thing you can teach.

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I place a ball beneath a cup. With dazzling skill I mix them up.

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The ball withdraws like a bashful maid, who runs away when attention's paid.

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Where, oh where, did my pretty one go? Risk ten bills if you think you know!

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Despite your distracting and poorly metered rhyme, my eagle eye tells me that

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the ball is most certainly underneath that cup!

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And I've got the ten spot to prove it!

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I hate to contradict you, Anthony, but - heh heh heh - it's under that one.

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Would you like to bet, Mr. O'Neill?

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Yeah! I'm not afraid to back up my sporting supposition with cold hard cash!

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Well, I suppose I should have the courage of my convictions.

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Oh no! How could my razor sharp intellect betray me?

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In loss there is wisdom.

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Go away!

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Um, yes.

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Thanks for the assistance, Mr. De-plant-ino.

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I quite enjoy helping the cretinous hoards learn a valuable lesson about

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gullibility and trust. Gimme my cut!

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The cash is sweet, but sweeter still, the chance to attract the most luscious of

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ladies with my mesmerizing stage presence. Aha! It's working already!

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Beauteous maidens, may I show you something that will astound and amaze?

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Only if it's a disappearing act.

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No, a feat of illusion.

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Like, contouring your nose to make it look thin?

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Not me!

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Please, spare just a moment to behold my astonishing magic skills!

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Make it fast, Charles. I don't want to get stuck in the midday cosmetics counter crush.

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Observe! Genuine U.S. currency! Which I shall now tear into tiny pieces!

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That is most certainly illegal!

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But wait! Through the commanding force of my virile presence, the bill is

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magically restored!

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Truly astonishing.

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But, how'd he do that?

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Oh, Stacy. You are so naive. He obviously used mirrors or something.

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Besides, who cares if he can fix a ten. It's not like it was a fifty.

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Come on. Let's make some real money disappear.

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That was a good one, Sandi.

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Hey, stranger. Haven't seen you around much.

97
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Been hanging out with Nathan.

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I had a hunch. Heard any good barber shop quartets lately?

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No, but we went to an antique car show Sunday, and we're starting fox-trot

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lessons tonight.

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Sounds great. Except for the car show and fox-trot part.

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Dancing is fun, Daria, which is more than I can say for you these days.

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Come on. A month ago, you would have been laughing at this too.

104
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You don't have to put Nathan and me down just because you and Tom are in a rut.

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At least we weren't doing the fox-trot when we tripped and fell in it.

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Ha.

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Hey, come back!

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Do you know your seams are crooked?

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So, pizza?

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What?

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Do you think we're in a rut?

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Where'd that come from?

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Jane. Just because her exciting social life involves co-piloting a time machine.

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Nathan?

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Don't you think he sounds a little pretentious?

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Is that any way to talk about your future boyfriend?

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Hey!

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What'd I say?

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Come on. Let's shake up our routine and go someplace crazy.

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What if he does turn out to be a complete jerk.

121
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Isn't that Jane's call?

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I feel a certain responsibility for the health and well being of her social life.

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Um, me too. But we've got to give this guy a chance.

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I guess.

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Hi, I'm Debbie, your server. Would you care for a free Sour Cream Supreme Potato

126
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Skin with your order today?

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Gee, I bet you say that to all the customers.

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If I don't, you get a free five dollar Phineas T. Firefly gift certificate, good

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at any of our two hundred and forty locations across the country!

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Think we can catch the last rut out of here?

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You know, this place used to be a speakeasy.

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Until some spoilsport repealed prohibition and ruined everything.

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Actually, it was the developers who ruined everything, with their tract housing,

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mini-malls and chain restaurants that serve potato skins.

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Youse know da pass word?

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Yahooty.

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Okay, Jonnieboy. Yer in.

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Oh, no. After youse.

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Chivalry ain't dead. Dames first.

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The problem with modern restaurants is that they don't serve enough lime aspic

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with marshmallow surprises.

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Told you this club was eighteen carat. Too bad the crowd tonight is kind of

143
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Frankie come lately. They're so post-khakies ad.

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I'm serious! That guy's tie is too wide, and his compenario is wearing

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suspenders and a belt! I can't believe they let them in!

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Gee, maybe I shouldn't have put on gloves and a necklace.

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Relax! You're with Nathan, sweetheart. You can't be more in than that! Want to

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cut a rug?

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Just call me Scissors Girl.

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Jane, you're one swell chick

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And you're, uh, one swell swell?

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Would you mind if I kissed you?

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You're actually asking?

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Hey, I'm a class act.

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Then... sure.

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My hair!

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It's a quick fix.

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No! No! It's complicated! I got to get to a mirror!

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Palmade. I got to get to a napkin.

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Oh, how I wish I could quench your curiosity, my pet, but I cannot reveal my

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secrets. It's the Magician's Code.

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But I have to know how you did it! I can't get it out of my mind!

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I know the feeling! There are so many things that I can't get out of my mind!

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Like that dream about the mermaids and the fudge sauce, for example?

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Was that Stacy with Upchuck?

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No way. It must be that girl who looks like Stacy, except when she turns around.

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Or that girl who looks like that girl.

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Hey, wait up.

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You're lucky I have trouble walking in heels.

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Listen, I'm sorry I gave you a hard time about Nathan.

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Why do you always have to write people off before you even know them?

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I thought that's what you liked about me.

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Well, I guess I can forgive you. Besides, this retro thing is pretty silly.

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I mean I'm wearing a snood.

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I was pretending not to notice.

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But, what the hell, it's just for fun.

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Which is what I finally figured out. So, can I walk you to your steno pool?

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Actually, Nathan is picking me up.

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Need a ride home?

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Um...

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Matching dress and tie. Um, copasetic.

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Hey, you speaketh the jive!

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I dabble.

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That's a swinging look you've put together, Daria. Catholic School Girl meets

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Kings Road London, circa eighty-three.

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Darn, I was going for circa eighty-two.

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Hey, Daria, do you and Tom want to hang out with us Friday? We're going to check

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out this movie theater outside town.

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Um, sure. That sounds... fun.

190
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Nathan, how the hell are you keeping that hat on?

191
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Custom made, my man. It's all in the fit.

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And yet they can't find a cure for cancer.

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Nathan owns a pair of pants that belonged to Sammy Davis Junior.

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I can't ware them, though. They're a very strange shape.

195
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Then what do you put on when you want to take a sunrise and sprinkle it with dew?

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Uh, how'd you get interested in all this?

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Well, I've always dug the beauty and elegance of post-war American design.

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People had a sense of timeless style and civilized decorum back then.

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Well, yeah. But you also had the timeless style of Cold War conformity and the

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civilized decorum of segregation.

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I'm not saying it was all steak and onions. But there were standards.

202
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Yeah, dress codes, loyalty oaths.

203
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Oh, there it is!

204
00:11:03,821 --> 00:11:04,729
What movie are we seeing?

205
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No movie.

206
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Wow. Erie. Let's get out and poke around.

207
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It is kind of bizarre.

208
00:11:10,380 --> 00:11:14,971
No, hairless cats are bizarre. This is kind of... cool.

209
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Darn. We're the first one's here. I wanted to make an entrance.

210
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First ones here?

211
00:11:20,150 --> 00:11:22,127
Look, here comes Charlece and Asher!

212
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:27,080
Oh god. It's night of the vintage threads!

213
00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,070
Come on, Jane. I'll introduce you to the gang.

214
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There's a gang??

215
00:11:30,295 --> 00:11:31,545
But first, hair check!

216
00:11:36,831 --> 00:11:37,659
Hey, that was pretty good.

217
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:42,838
And I'm sure they didn't spend a good portion of their teen years practicing it either.

218
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Aren't you guys coming?

219
00:11:46,030 --> 00:11:50,080
You mean outside? You do see the people, right?

220
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Daria.

221
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Okay, okay. Just drop us off at home first.

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Ah, leave 'em. Some people can't make the scene unless they clear it first with

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the P.C. police.

224
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For a minute, during the ride there, I thought you were going to go for his throat.

225
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Believe me, I've been fighting back the urge to strangle him with Sammy Davis'

226
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pants. But Jane thinks he's swingin'.

227
00:12:12,201 --> 00:12:16,510
I wish the P.C. police were here. I bet they'd give us a ride home.

228
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I had a great time the other night.

229
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Yeah, me too.

230
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Sorry we woke you guys up when we got back in the car.

231
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Hey, no problem. We got in a good three hours first.

232
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Come see a feat of legerdemain so dangerous that I've taken out an insurance

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policy on my body, and my bodily fluids. This Saturday night, I will be

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handcuffed, straight jacketed, and interred within an airtight, steel

235
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reinforced, military grade trunk. Then, it's escape, or asphyxiate.

236
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Do we get to pick?

237
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All proceeds...

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Most proceeds to benefit the special expenditures fund for embedding microchips

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in the gym equipment.

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Upchuck, bound and gagged. That does sound entertaining.

241
00:13:04,290 --> 00:13:05,170
I'll take four tickets.

242
00:13:05,427 --> 00:13:08,877
On behalf of pilfered basketballs everywhere, Ms. Lane, I'd like to say that's

243
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very school spirited of you.

244
00:13:11,220 --> 00:13:13,260
You ask Tom, I'll ask Nathan. My treat.

245
00:13:13,478 --> 00:13:15,088
If that's the work for it.

246
00:13:15,787 --> 00:13:20,284
Behold! An approaching quartet of lovelies! It appears that my magic mojo is

247
00:13:20,331 --> 00:13:23,963
working overtime! Hi... Stacy.

248
00:13:24,330 --> 00:13:25,635
Um, hi.

249
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:30,049
Did you just say 'hello' to Upchuck? Or was that a hiccup?

250
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,010
Must be all the diet soda I've been drinking.

251
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:37,150
Whoa, canary yellow!

252
00:13:37,406 --> 00:13:39,916
Hi, I'm Nathan. Jane's escort for the evening.

253
00:13:40,029 --> 00:13:42,495
You must be Trent. It's great to finally meet you.

254
00:13:42,593 --> 00:13:46,853
Yeah. Same here. You, um, dress like that every day?

255
00:13:47,190 --> 00:13:48,280
Sure. Do you?

256
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:48,980
What?

257
00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:51,550
Dress like that? I mean, the sixties are over.

258
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:53,440
The forties were over first.

259
00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:55,880
Maybe, but great style is timeless.

260
00:13:56,091 --> 00:13:59,370
That's exactly what I was going to say. Thanks.

261
00:13:59,780 --> 00:14:01,291
No, thank you.

262
00:14:02,431 --> 00:14:04,487
It was so much easier when I had one outfit.

263
00:14:05,673 --> 00:14:06,104
Yo.

264
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,080
Hey gorgeous.

265
00:14:08,393 --> 00:14:11,987
Hey. Wow. You really do own a zoot suit.

266
00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,290
Got to have something for special occasions.

267
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:21,573
Trouble travels by trike! Under-age road rage, next on Sick Sad World.

268
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:26,635
How could anyone watch that crap! The decline of modern civilization. Right?

269
00:14:26,721 --> 00:14:27,918
Exactly.

270
00:14:27,984 --> 00:14:31,096
Ready to go? The Tiki Tavern is going to be packed tonight!

271
00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:34,340
I bought tickets to see Upchuck the Irritating, remember? You know, first the

272
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,480
freaky, then the tiki.

273
00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:40,970
Oh, come on! Magic is so old and corny! And the gang's expecting us in time for

274
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:42,550
the floating ukulele review.

275
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:45,560
I told Daria and Tom we'd be there. You know, my gang?

276
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:50,460
Sorry, it's just not my speed. Um, you know you're mixing forties shoes with a

277
00:14:50,610 --> 00:14:51,690
fifties dress, right?

278
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:53,127
Okaaaay.

279
00:14:56,540 --> 00:15:00,990
I think Stacy has confused being fashionably late with outright tardiness.

280
00:15:01,170 --> 00:15:04,385
She's been so weird lately.

281
00:15:04,479 --> 00:15:07,910
She hardly didn't eat anything at lunch. Did that make sense?

282
00:15:08,170 --> 00:15:09,170
I got it.

283
00:15:09,737 --> 00:15:13,850
Welcome one and all! I'd like to thank Mr. Ruttheimer for supporting a most

284
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:18,060
worthy cause, and for giving me some pointers for adapting the intercom system

285
00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:22,120
for post hypnotic suggestions! I will tithe my earning to Lawndale High, tithe

286
00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:26,350
my earnings to Lawndale High. And now, Rutthemimer the Prestidigitator and his

287
00:15:26,470 --> 00:15:28,390
lovely assistant, Stacy!

288
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:32,182
Emergency meeting immediately following show!

289
00:15:32,410 --> 00:15:36,330
Her costume! It's so sparkly!

290
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,393
Greetings, magic aficionados!

291
00:15:39,710 --> 00:15:44,237
Please, be gentile, my sweet. I have a very delicate... everything!

292
00:15:44,670 --> 00:15:45,940
I hope I'm doing this right.

293
00:15:46,090 --> 00:15:49,393
No complaints on this end. Rowrr!

294
00:15:49,636 --> 00:15:53,987
As soon as I am fully bondaged, I will enter this steel, reinforced trunk,

295
00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:56,971
which the lovely Stacy will close and lock.

296
00:15:57,243 --> 00:15:58,416
From the outside!

297
00:16:04,113 --> 00:16:06,643
Oh no! What do I do next?

298
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:11,280
Where do you think Jane and Nathan are?

299
00:16:11,478 --> 00:16:14,174
Maybe the roadster ran out of jive juice.

300
00:16:15,130 --> 00:16:16,530
Do these meet with your approval?

301
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:20,080
They're from the forties too. I just don't think you're ready to mix era's yet.

302
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:24,250
Look in the mirror! You're the one wearing a forties zoot suit to a sixties tiki bar!

303
00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:28,432
Damn! What was I thinking? Now I have to go home and change!

304
00:16:29,874 --> 00:16:33,645
What's taking so long? I rented the auditorium out, and the single

305
00:16:33,670 --> 00:16:36,010
scientologists will be here in less than an hour!

306
00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:38,840
He was supposed to signal me! Something's wrong!

307
00:16:38,980 --> 00:16:42,610
Panic! Panic! I foresee a massive hike in insurance premiums!

308
00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:47,960
Why do I always wind up bailing out the naive and/or incompetent when their

309
00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:50,220
ill-conceived plans go awry!

310
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,393
It's just like a man to be there one minute and gone the next! Hiya!

311
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:59,160
Get over yourself! You're taking this all way to seriously!

312
00:16:59,330 --> 00:17:01,520
No, you're not taking it seriously enough!

313
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:06,534
Nathan, it's a fad! It's just for fun, not something to go to war over!

314
00:17:06,627 --> 00:17:10,910
You're wrong! Retro will never die! It's not just about bowling shirts and

315
00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:15,170
cocktail shakers and dice shaped cuff-links! It's about pride and standards that

316
00:17:15,340 --> 00:17:18,276
set us apart from today's mindless, insipid mainstream!

317
00:17:18,300 --> 00:17:19,947
The trendies have come and gone!

318
00:17:19,987 --> 00:17:23,362
The true believers are left! Are you with us, or against us?

319
00:17:23,471 --> 00:17:27,338
Nathan, if you really liked me, it wouldn't matter if I was wearing fishnets or sweatpants!

320
00:17:27,957 --> 00:17:29,791
You own sweatpants?!

321
00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:30,270
Get out!

322
00:17:30,337 --> 00:17:30,967
Dilitant!

323
00:17:30,995 --> 00:17:31,557
Poser!

324
00:17:31,687 --> 00:17:34,784
Argh! I was pre-khakis commercial, and don't you forget it!

325
00:17:38,460 --> 00:17:44,000
Come on, you rigid, stubborn box of death! Yield, I say! Yield!

326
00:17:44,380 --> 00:17:49,674
No goodbye, not even a note, after I gave you the best years of my life!

327
00:17:49,970 --> 00:17:54,970
Stacy, it's just tragic how you so completely embarrassed yourself!

328
00:17:55,230 --> 00:17:57,659
Yeah. And freaked out!

329
00:17:57,728 --> 00:18:02,088
And your mascara! It's not even waterproof! Oh, I can't look!

330
00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:05,580
Good thing Upchuck's buried alive in there so you won't have to spend the rest

331
00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:09,187
of your life seeking revenge for the way he's humiliated you in front of the

332
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:10,140
whole school.

333
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:14,260
Oh, Sandi. You are so naive.

334
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:15,034
Huh?

335
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:18,630
Where is he??

336
00:18:18,857 --> 00:18:23,767
Probably chatting up some floosey in a sleazy roadside tavern, complaining about

337
00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:26,190
how he and his wife haven't slept in the same bed since...

338
00:18:26,350 --> 00:18:27,424
He's back there!

339
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:28,518
Shazam!

340
00:18:31,030 --> 00:18:32,540
I've got to admit, I really thought he was in trouble.

341
00:18:32,770 --> 00:18:36,323
Optimist. Are those Sammy Davis's pants?

342
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:43,220
Let's hear it for my lovely and very talented assistant Stacy, and her Oscar

343
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:44,901
worthy acting job!

344
00:18:45,270 --> 00:18:49,930
Your crocodile tears bring out the tiger in me! Rowrr!

345
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,940
Maybe Stacy can teach me to cry.

346
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:59,502
It would be useful at home, and in a variety of social situations.

347
00:19:01,699 --> 00:19:05,096
Drive home safe! Tithe your earnings! Welcome, Single Scientologists!

348
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,401
Did I miss anything?

349
00:19:06,522 --> 00:19:08,495
Nothing good. Upchuck survived.

350
00:19:08,670 --> 00:19:11,080
Where's Sir Swanky? Sorry, I mean...

351
00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:11,750
We broke up.

352
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:12,815
No kidding.

353
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,660
At least now I can admit I didn't like him.

354
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:15,885
What if we get back together?

355
00:19:15,990 --> 00:19:16,705
Aw, crap!

356
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:20,620
Relax, that's not going to happen. You knew he was a jerk, didn't you?

357
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:25,307
I didn't feel it was my place to state that incredibly obvious fact.

358
00:19:25,401 --> 00:19:27,690
I mean 'impose my subjective opinion.'

359
00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:30,030
I should have known when you didn't try to steal him from me.

360
00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:30,690
Hey!

361
00:19:30,810 --> 00:19:34,740
What'd I say? Eh, maybe I did all that goofy stuff because I was a little too

362
00:19:34,860 --> 00:19:36,651
eager to be hanging out with a cool guy.

363
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:41,840
No. You were right about fun being fun. I'm gonna try and remember that

364
00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:45,909
on the off chance that, one day I actually allow myself to have some.

365
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:50,635
I guess Nathan's stylish good looks blinded me to the profound jerkyness underneath.

366
00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:53,377
You always did have a weakness for the cute ones.

367
00:19:55,886 --> 00:19:58,510
Eighty, ninety, a hundred.

368
00:19:58,670 --> 00:20:01,300
Not bad, considering most of those clothes came from the attic.

369
00:20:01,470 --> 00:20:05,971
How do you feel about the beauty and elegance of a post war American pizza?

370
00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:08,205
I guess I'm buying, since I've got the hundred bucks.

371
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,846
Ninety. Remember, you have to give ten to Ms. Li.

372
00:20:12,070 --> 00:20:15,104
Oh, yeah. Damn post hypnotic suggestion.